Five Tips for Developing an Unoffendable Attitude!
I recently told a few people that I have been working on being unoffendable. I feel comfortable sharing this because I feel like I’m getting really close! Needless to say, the most common response I'm getting is a funny look. Now, I’m pretty good at reading people, but in this case, I’m not quite sure what these funny looks mean…
"What?!!!"
"I think he’s gone over the top with this one!"
"You mean never… for the rest of your life?"
"Yeah right!"
"Is that even a word... it's not even in the dictionary!"
"Do we need to get you some medical attention?"
Pretty funny huh!
When you start to really think about it... you might say… you know what… I want to work on that… I want to build myself up to be unoffendable!
Let’s do it… here are five tips for developing an unoffendable attitude!
1. Build your self-confidence. It is the most important factor.
2. Your happiness does not depend on other people.
3. Understand that your state of mind is your state of mind
4. At some point you are going to have to get over it. How about right now!
5. Claim it as true, "I don’t get offended."
Best Practice: When somebody asks you, "Did that offend you?" or "Wasn’t that offensive?" you can respond with… "I’m not sure… I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t get offended."
"Each day… I pray for wisdom… to see things for what they truly are… to be able to communicate my ideas clearly… in way that everyone can relate and understand the message… so that people may move forward in a positive direction… and achieve great success!" -Doyle Slayton
What did I miss... What would you add to these five tips?
"What?!!!"
"I think he’s gone over the top with this one!"
"You mean never… for the rest of your life?"
"Yeah right!"
"Is that even a word... it's not even in the dictionary!"
"Do we need to get you some medical attention?"
Pretty funny huh!
When you start to really think about it... you might say… you know what… I want to work on that… I want to build myself up to be unoffendable!
Let’s do it… here are five tips for developing an unoffendable attitude!
1. Build your self-confidence. It is the most important factor.
2. Your happiness does not depend on other people.
3. Understand that your state of mind is your state of mind
4. At some point you are going to have to get over it. How about right now!
5. Claim it as true, "I don’t get offended."
Best Practice: When somebody asks you, "Did that offend you?" or "Wasn’t that offensive?" you can respond with… "I’m not sure… I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t get offended."
"Each day… I pray for wisdom… to see things for what they truly are… to be able to communicate my ideas clearly… in way that everyone can relate and understand the message… so that people may move forward in a positive direction… and achieve great success!" -Doyle Slayton
What did I miss... What would you add to these five tips?
On a scale from 1 to 10, Doyle, that attitude of being unoffendable, is #10 for maturity!
Wow! How freeing for you. I'm really glad to know this about you.
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Reminds me of an Eleanor Rosevelt quote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
For me, another step is to always believe that other people's comments are about THEM more than they could ever be about me.
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If someone offends you, try to react positively to them.This will take them aback and will also make you unaffected.This action is not defensive but Positive counter offensive (which should not be felt offensive to them).In this way, you can never get offended.
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I expected you to go somewhere else with this. I thought you might declare that you do not want to offend customers, by changing you attitude on how to approach them.
What you describe however is also a good trait to keep ones sanity.
Thanks
Christian
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Doyle,
There are many things that have the power to offend; most of those can be disenpowered by understanding where others come from. Once you can understand another's motives or thought process you can either find common ground. On the other hand, there are things that do offend me; unwarranted rudeness and cruelty to other people and animals, for instance. These are things that do offend me and I hope to continue to fight against it. Maybe offended in that case really should read "driven to act".
Great post.
All the best,
Bob
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Your last sentence is a good one! Taking positive corrective action is so much more powerful than taking offense.
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Really good. Believe we can all benefit from this. Most appreciated.
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Great point! When you let yourself become offended, the next step is to become defensive....and absolutely no message, no matter how valuable can be understood or delivered when one participant in the conversation is defensive.
Keep 'em coming, Doyle!
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Hey Doyle --
we dont get offended as sales people.. we are told to take things with "a pinch of salt"!!
i am presumin your state of mind whilst writing this piece was that of Nirvana!!!
cheerz, benaifer
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Doyle, As I was reading this I am thinking that Doyle is full of Wisdom and must be reading Proverbs on a daily basis. Then I get to the bottom of your entry and you hit it right on the head. You are praying for Wisdom!
Amen
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Actually, this is a really good point but I think you need a better word than unoffendable (not sure what, though). Following these 5 Tips changes your position from Salesman (often seen as negative) to Resource (always positive). If someone knows they can get your honest input on a competitor, and that you still stand by your own product as being the best fit for THEM, they are more likely to trust you.
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Doyle, I'm able to attest to the fact that an agreement made in your own mind is achievable. Five years ago I made an agreement with my wife that we would not argue. In that time we have not had one arguement, disagreements yes, but never an arguement. Once you set your mind to a course along with the grace (power) of God you are able to accomplish your goal. Now I am going to have to consider being unoffendible as well as inoffensive. Thanks for the thoughts.
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That makes me smile. The thing that I like most about your agreement is that it shows you both have a very powerful ingredient in your relationship... Commitment!
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Doyle,
That is very commendable, to be "unoffendable". I know I still take things too personally. I read somewhere, that the top leaders are the ones that are the quickest, to learn from their mistakes, make the appropriate changes, and then move on. I am sure they are "unoffendable" people.
Mark Secko
Mantralogix
msecko@mantralogix.com
www.mantralogix.com
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I try to remember that people are sometimes going to make mistakes and make poor decisions. I think about the big picture. In the whole scheme of things... long term... as it applies to our career and our life... does this "thing" really matter? In my experience, most of the time, it isn't a life altering situation.
There are a few things that have helped me along the way...
1. Let's figure out what we need to do to correct or fix the current situation
2. Learn from it and understand what we will do next time we're faced with a similar situation
3. Ensure it doesn't become a pattern or trend
4. If it was a "biggie," then we must have an understanding that it can't ever happen again.
5. On rare occasions, it is a deal breaker, and serious action must be taken
I also like your comment about "top leaders." Every time I am around leaders, I watch them very closely. I've learned so much by observing their decisions, responses, and actions. Sometimes you learn what "to do," and other times, you learn what "not" to do.
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I love this write up. It made me think back about my attitude when I was working as a real estate broker and as an appraiser. At that time I was wearing TWO HATS. I always flared up easily and would immediately say what my mind thought instantly without realizing I was offending my own blood. Finally I realized I had to wear an Appraiser’s HAT only, so that I can concentrate with my client better.
Nothing has ever hurt me when people offend me BECAUSE I feel the person that hurt people are hurting themselves. …. And I do not hold grudges.
I HOPE YOU LIKE THE FOLLOWING WRITE UP.
DON’T QUIT!!! (anonymous author)
When things go wrong, and they sometimes will,
When the road you are trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Best, if you must—but don’t QUIT..
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow---
You might succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
it seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt—
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit—
It is when things seem worst that you must not QUIT.
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When I was first introduced to a spirit of being unoffendable I took it from start because I believe in it and it is an awesome way of living. What I have learned is how to say, "Just because I am not offended by your actions/words doesn't mean that I am not going to address them." We shouldn't allow people to treat us anyway they want just because of our unoffendable spirit.
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Doyle,
I have not yet seen you be offensive or offended. Life is fun!
At My age, I don’t get offended. I have been known to become enraged, but usually when someone tries to break into my house at 1:30 in the morning or bangs into my Vette!
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