It Happens to the Best of Us
Doyle Slayton | Jun 28, 2009 | Comments 11
Written by Kimberly D. Mackey
[Guest Author]
Yes, even Sales Trainers and Motivational Speakers are not immune to the negative influences all around us these days…the difference is what we do about it. I have to confess that last week I had myself a small pity party. It happens. Sales Trainers do not live in glass bubbles, at least the good ones don’t. I watch/read the news. I keep up on all the current market trends (the good, the bad, and the ugly). And let’s face it, most of the time the news is negative these days. Then to top it off, I lost two deals—both in the same day!
Now, neither of those deals had anything to do with me, per se. But you know how it is, as sales people we pour our heart and soul into helping our customers, whether it is for Sales Training/Consulting or for helping our customers realize their dreams. Then when it doesn’t go our way, we start the process of beating ourselves up. What did we do wrong? What could we have done differently? You‘ve been there, right?
While it is a good thing to learn from our experiences, it is a simple fact of life that we will “strike out” more often than “we will hit a home run”. You’ve heard this before: Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times to hit 708 Home Runs¹. Bill Gates’ first business, Traf-O-Data, flopped–you know the rest of the story². Donald Trump has filed for bankruptcy at least 4 times³, but isn’t he a success? Just ask him and see what he says.
So why do some of us bounce back faster than others? I believe it is the ability to step outside oneself, and look at the event as a learning tool. Dissecting the important lessons from the emotional part of the event has helped me to overcome, and to get back on track. This is a learned trait. One that our parents taught us early on when they let us “cry ourselves to sleep” in order to learn to sleep through the night on our own; or when we scraped our knee because we were climbing something mom had told us not to climb–mom said to just blow on it and then go back to playing. We learned to use a coping mechanism, and we learned “to get over it quickly”.
More important though is the act of getting right back out there, doing what you need to do, day in and day out, regardless of the set backs along the way. Dusting oneself off after loosing a sale, loosing a job, or any other loss is painful. I am not here to say that it isn’t. But, ultimately you have to move in one direction or another, right? So rather than sitting around being sad, upset, or even angry; I submit to you that FORWARD is the best direction and going forward QUICKLY will help you to lessen the pain. The question then becomes, “how do I do that?”
First thing, acknowledge the feelings you are experiencing. You can’t deal with them if you won’t even acknowledge them. Once you have acknowledged them, LET THEM GO. Especially if it is anger—because those negative emotions will drag you down, cloud your judgment and make whatever move you do next appear desperate. Then come up with your game plan for what’s next. This act alone should cause you to start moving forward; it should cause you to start experiencing much more positive feelings because if it is the right move, you will start to get excited about it, and will work to take the necessary action steps to get you there.
Next, seek support and discuss your action plans with people you trust. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful support system of family, friends, business coaches, and various successful people around me. This is no accident, I have sought them out. I value and trust their judgment. These are the kind of people who will be honest with me and help keep me on track and focused. They will tell me when and if my emotions are clouding my judgment, etc. These are the kind of people you need to make sure you have in your life. Hopefully, supportive friends and family are something you already have. What you may not already have are Coaches and Mentors (which by the way are generally separate from your managers). I encourage you to invest in yourself and seek these experts out. In times like these, we can’t afford not to have this kind of “weapon in our arsenal”.
So, how did I get back out there after my little set back? Well, I practiced what I preach. I went through all of these steps, and sought out the advice of my coaches and mentors to make sure I was now moving in the right direction. I also got busy doing the stuff I already knew I needed to be doing day in and day out to make me a success, i.e. reading positive material, working my prospecting plan, completing the projects I already had for my other clients (with a vengeance), and staying focused on the big picture. Of course, the moral of this story is that set backs and failures WILL happen. It is ALL up to you how you handle them on your path to SUCCESS!
Failure is a prerequisite for great success. If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure.
- Brian Tracy
Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.
- Dale Carnegie
¹Baseball-almanac.com, ² Business Week/06/08, ³ Wikipedia.com
Kimberly Mackey, MCSP, CMP, Realtor® is the founder of Creative Sales Solutions. A company dedicated to providing the Sales and Leadership Solutions You Need Right Now. She is a published author of many Sales and Leadership articles, a Coach and a Keynote Speaker. She specializes in all aspects of Sales and Marketing Management and Training and enjoys a reputation as an innovator and a strong team builder. If you need more TRAFFIC and SALES, Kimberly is has the SOLUTION for your team! To hire her today or for a free subscription to SOLUTIONS E-newsletter, please visit www.creativesalesnow.com . Kimberly is also the 2009 SMC President for the TBBA.
When was the last time you felt sorry for yourself? What happened… and how did you pull yourself out of it?
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Filed Under: Blog • Guest Authors • Sales • SalesTaxi
Go Kimberly! That could have been me writing that (more from me later). What you are displaying is high AQ – Adversity Quotient – the greatest key to success and vitality.
Brilliant. I also highly recommend the book as one of the most key books in my library.
Kimberly, Great Timing. I was having my own pity party. Your advice was the same as my coach. It reinforces the fact that we need to keep moving forward to be successful.
Kimberly:
I agree with everything you said, especially seeking out help and support makes the biggest difference.
Kimberly,
Terrific post. I truly enjoyed this piece but I must correct you on one point. The Babe hit 714 home runs. Go Sox
Kimberly,
Thanks for the great advice! As sales people we do get a lot of rejections. Depending on your mind set for the day you will brush it off or take it personal. I need to get a coach!
We’ve all been through this. It is really hard to separate the logical from the emotional. In the book “First, Break All the Rules” they discuss the characteristics of great sales people. After reviewing the literature they conclude that, rather than being dispassionate, great sales people take losing very personally. As much as it’s easy to say “Let Them Go” it’s just not that easy. I find that the best way to let them go is to jump into something else full steam.
Oh, by the way, the Brian Tracy quote:
Failure is a prerequisite for great success. If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure. – Brian Tracy
is usually attributed to Tom Watson, founder of IBM. Now, I am sure Brian uses that line too, and I am sure he gives proper attribution, but let’s give credit where it is due.
Bob
http://www.bettersellsolutions.com
Kimberly – Good to see someone laud the true value of failure, and the real benefits. Now, if I could only remember all that when I get into my next funk.
One of the best de-funking practices for me is to slow down – everything. Move slower, take the simplest actions and do them with a ridiculous attention to each detail and movement. Then I go back to basics – clean the car, the calendar, the briefcase and focus on someone else who I like.
Seems to work.
Kimberly,
I really liked your article and agree that you have to keep
moving forward. Have you read “What’s Your Sales DNA?”
This book really changed the way I see myself and has helped
push me forward in my sales career.
Thanks again great article,
Gene
Thanks for sharing the emotional side of losing. You’ve highlighted the point that sales is NOT just a “numbers game” – it’s an intentional, invested process. If losing doesn’t hit you hard, then you probably weren’t very invested!
Whatever approach we take to getting ourselves back in the game following a loss, the important thing IS to get back in the game! I was reminded of this a few months ago watching my 6-year old grandson’s Upwards Basketball team. The little guys trip over themselves, collide, fall, and a few tears may flow, but a wise daddy-coach helps them up, gives ‘em a pat, and gets ‘em back on the court immediately. The one or two baskets they actually score are cause for immense rejoicing and pride, and the scrapes and stumbles are forgotten – Great life lesson, there!
Good reminder – appreciate your sharing!
Kimberly, you’ve incorrectly used the word “loosing” twice when the actual word should have been “losing.” Might want to consider adding another advisor to your team, that is someone who can & will QA your documents.
Thanks for sharing such thought. Moving forward is the key to success. Keep it up.