Building Relationships: What Does That Mean?
Doyle Slayton | Jul 12, 2009 | Comments 37
People often say, “It’s all about building relationships.” The concept is one of those things you often hear about, but rarely get an explanation of what it means.
I think a lot of people… whether they know it or not… are confused by the whole thing. Who really knows what it means? If you ask 10 people, would they all provide similar answers? What if you asked people of varying degrees of performance… How would their answers compare? While we are at it, does job function play into this?
Share your thoughts on this one, and I’ll go to work on developing my own ideas on the topic. I’ll post my opinion on the next article!
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Filed Under: Blog • Featured • Fun-n-Stuff • Leadership • Reader Questions • Sales • SalesTaxi
I’d rather sell something to someone. Wouldn’t you?
Doyle, I think you WOULD get at least 8 different answers if you asked 10 people. Accounting for the difference is: behavior style, role, industry, experience, and comfort level with being a sales professional.
And I think it continues to be important – people buy many products/services from other people – but the type of relationship varies and each company/seller needs to determine what is right for what THEY do.
The consumer, when surveyed claims the best way to build initial rapport is
#1. Answer their questions accurately and timely
#2. Provide them the information they seek
#3. Allow them purchase in a manner that doesn’t cause them pain.
This may the reason few auto sales people create relationships with their prospects or customers. And I agree, the type of relationship referred to by the ‘experts’ as necessary, has a multitude of definitions.
Doyle, I won’t get into the “how-to” of building a relationship but how about the results. To me, building a relationship is about establishing trust and mutual need. And, like a good marriage, ideally neither partner cheats on the other:)So,what does this mean to the B2B sales person? It means that I have “relationship” accounts that, providing I continue to perform above and beyond, they are not going to be going elsewhere. Period. And, if I work on a commission and these are repeat accounts, I start each year with money in the bank. Right now, that’s pretty comforting
. Great topic and …… an extensive one. Thanks for letting me share!
Craig
Doyle,
I think it comes down to building value in those relationships. Most of us have known how to meet people since kindergarten. What we tend to confuse as adults are the value of those relationships rather than the quantity of contacts we have. Twitter is a great example. One can have 10,000 followers and no customers! I believe top performers build value in their relationships and poor performers, although they may be well liked, don’t!
To me, it’s all about building AND LEVERAGING relationships. Many salespeople can build relationships, but few have the talent, skills and game plan to systematically, consistently and effectively leverage relationships into referrals, introductions, testimonials, inside coaches, etc..
I agree, Matt. Finding common ground with a person and building a relationship is one thing but translating that into a mutually benefical business relationship is truly a skill.
Doyle
Great question. My observation, time and again is that “building relatonships” is a euphemism for “not selling”, when salespeople want their performance to be judged by things that are essentially not measurable. I’ve been in hundreds of weekly sales meetings where the only apparent result achieved for the week by the entire sales team was “relationship building.” We all know that “relationships building” is important in all human interaction, but it is not a sufficient metric or adequate use of language in a sales job. A manager who is prepared to accept “relationship building ” as the definition of a sales role, will either never hit a target or else, s/he has a, so language doesn’t really matter.
In fact, this one issue – relationships – highlights something that is endemic in sales operations all over the world: the lack of a metric for and a reluctance to measure “what is progress” in a sales role other than in vague language that sounds “right”. No other business function could survive on these standards, but sales operations seem to think they can. Ask most sales managers and they will tell you that vague language is the worst enemy of sales productivity. If managers want to change this at their next internal sales meeting, instead of asking “how is the relationship” ask this instead: “given the great WHEN have they agreed to meet you again and what do they think they see as the reason for that meeting?” Listen for the silence …
Michael McGowan
Is there really a relationship, until the client is convinced of the value to the degree that they make an investment?
From a value-selling perspective, I do not believe so. Prior to the investment, the basic relationship is one of indifference and doubt. Trust establishes when the relationship begins and when the client trusts your value proposition, they show it by making an investment.
Hmmm. Those are all well thought out replies, but frankly, I think Zig said it best. Building relationships is about helping as many people get what they want as you possibly can. The more you give, the more you get. Shall I go on? : )
Doyle:
I am not suprised that people define it so differently. A similar word for me is friend. I define friend pretty narrowly and pretty intimately. I have many aquaintances, people whose company I enjoy, but my “friend” label is pretty exclusive. It is a relationship of mutual trust and support.
As you know I am a big believer in engagement. When I talk about engagement in professional settings I mean we share engagement. We don’t do transactions, we support optimizing each others business. We build on a foundation of trust and mutual respect. That is how I define a “relationship” when I work with clients to build engagement with their employees, their customers, their shareholders, and all their stakeholders.
I expressed my thoughts and experience in building relationships in an Ezine article “Achieving Trusted Advisor Status” http://ezinearticles.com/?id=2317152
Building relationship is about building human values, kindness, appreciation, encouragement, take and give, that creates long term relations, friendship and brotherhood. And here we are just doing part of it.
There’s an old saying that says “People buy from their friends”, in other words, if they don’t like you and TRUST you, they won’t buy from you. I believe this holds true. TRUST is the key ingredient.
When I hear “relationship” I am reminded the foundation of any relationship is trust.
With regards to salespeople, they must listen and understand buyer pain and then propose solutions. When I wrote: WARNING: Buyer’s say what salespeople do wrong?..PRICE is not on the list! http://nosmokeandmirrors.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/warning-buyers-say-what-salespeople-do-wrongprice-is-not-on-the-list/ I discussed the top reasons buyers do not buy.
Where most salespeople blow it is focusing on their goals and not the problems of buyers. Do so and you will never build a relationship of trust.
Mark Allen Roberts
Another great question, Doyle! I’ll answer by repeating my favorite Jeffrey Gitomer quote: “All things being equal, people prefer to buy from their friends; all things being not so equal, people still prefer to buy from their friends.”
‘Nuff said?
Jerry Kennedy
The Motivation 101 Blog
P.S. Of course, you still have to ask for the business…being friends just makes it easier for the prospect to say “Yes!”
Its all about trust must work both ways, both parties have gained benefit, both parties must have confidence in one another and the most valuable ingredient keep in contact both formally and informally.
Its not either or – its not either relationship or sales
It is sales through relationship! makes all the parties give their best to keep relationship in form!
Although everyone seems to have a little different twist, there seems to be a theme of:
* trust
* rapport (or like/friend/etc)
Other people have been adding that they need to buy.
I will add that for me, it is a relationship when the prospect/customer can tell ME why working together is important to them.
I view a relationship as between people – therefore both people need to be able to articulate that they are in one.
Doyle – another great question, I can’t wait to see your perspective. Lynn
Look at the definiton of relationship. It ranges from being connected by need to terms that speak of passion and emotion. When sales people are directed to go and build relationships it is often the type at the lower connectivity end of the scale. Reason: many companies desire to make quick sales in a tough ecomony and the pressure on sales people to do so does not allow for the development of the deeper relationship on the opposite end of the scale.
Building relationships or Building Professional relationships are key in any position from Admin to sales to CEO. In this day and age if there is no relationship there is value to a sale. Is it the job of sales professional to make a sale and then move on? Some might say, “Yes, that is the job”. I beg to differ; if you are a true master at what you do a sale is made over and over through the same contact. I have built my business through building relationships, by building relationships I receive continuous referrals, recommendations, extension service dealings, ETC. Building relationships is just smart business since.
Building relationships or networking is a vital part of building a strong business. The majority of Sales Professionals are required to build their own business and if we are not building relationships and continuing to work on those relationships can we really call ourselves sale professionals or are we just “Clerks”. I can see not building relationships if you are in a retail store where you are selling a shirt or a TV; but what if you are the vendor selling these products to resellers, you want to build a relationship so they drive your product over others offered. I have seen several sales professional go for the one time sale and their numbers control them, but what if we could control our own numbers…would this not make more sense?
Building Relationships could mean many different things, it is our job as sales professionals to figure out what this means in our business. Feel free to contact me is you would like to learn what this means in your business. When you contact me provide me a scenario of your situation and I will respond with what Building Relationships in your role means. You can contact me at jkeith@appleone.com.
As one who gets “sold” to often (being on the finance side), I’ll come at this from that angle.
I look for directness, courtesy, honesty and value from those that want my business. I have met many good people that I did not buy from, or that I changed from to a competitor, because they relied on the “relationship” to overcome lack of the above. Buyers have a responsibility to their company to get the best product/service at the best price. Actually, this is why many companies separate out the purchasing/negotiating from the product evaluations, to try and remove/reduce the effect of relationships.
That said, I am often amused (and occasionally annoyed) when a salesperson that has never met me calls me buddy, pal, friend etc. I will test that quickly by asking specific questions, cost is a good one…, and see if they hang up/disappear or provide good answers and continue the dialog.
In my opinion, a salesrep can spend time building a relationship, or can spend it building the value prop of why their product/service is worth buying. I’ll enjoy the first, and some of that is needful, but any purchasing decision will be based on the second.
Good selling!
Doyle,
In terms of a relationship between a sales rep and a client, it is a matter of trust and belief in the product. It’s pretty simple in my mind. Our clients are smart enough to know that we are in the business of sales so they know we want to make a sale. It is when the client understands the sales rep doesn’t want to make a sale at the expense of the client and will only do so when it is in their best interest that a real relationship is built between client and sales rep. In my experience, I’ve often recommended other products and walked away from a sale when I knew it wasn’t in the best interest of the client. When you can do that and your client trusts that you will, they will also trust you when you bring them solutions to their problems with your products and services.
Sheila
Sales and relationship doesn’t go parallel all the time with new clients.
When you are determined to make the sales, sometimes you don’t think about the client’s perspective but when you want to make a relationship sometimes you will end up giving up the sales, expecting to see the results as a prospect client.
People buy from people. Period. They don’t but from companies. It’s always about people. And better relationship “can” result in more sales. There still needs to be the pitch, the close, the fulfillment, etc. But establishing a relationship is paramount to getting to that point.
It could be as simple as saying “hi” my name is Rob, or it goes deeper into intimate, personal knowledge. The important part of sales is not hiding behind a shroud. People want to engage with those that provide products and services. I see it as a deep human need. B2B, B2C, doesn’t make a difference.
I’ve gone to the same dentist for 6 year. He’s pretty good but nothing superb really. But I have a relationship and no other dentist has reached out to me relationally, only through generic postcards. The only way I’d switch is if my relationship (ie, trust, belief, knowledge, etc) were increased with another dentist.
It depends on the industry, the product, and the sales person. I am a firm beleiver in the art of the relationship. Relationships have given me the opportunity to spend more time in front of the customers giving me brand recognition and the opportunity to build their trust. Time has allowed me to distinguish myself and my products from all the other people I am out there competing against.
As for measureable matrices? Relationships allow you to learn why the customer isn’t buying? To be able to go back to a sales manager and clearly state that a customer isn’t purchasing for the following reasons is a matrix. Perhaps it’s a product issue, perhaps it’s a price issue, perhaps it’s an issue with trust in all of the above.
In the end, when it’s all about “sales” the customer will see right through it. Does anyone really want to be sold? But, when you master the art of speaking with someone and uncovering their real needs and hesitancies, it may open doors exponentially.
All of these responses are great. Clearly relationships are as individual as the people who are in them and regardless of how you look at it, we are all in relationships all the time, everytime we engage another human being, in any way, “positive”, “negative”, “indifferent” or not at all we are in relationship. This being the case, why not do it as effectively, on purpose and authentically as possible, things go much more smoothly in life with this approach, in my experience anyway. Care about people and take action and everything else will fall into place. Use specific, measureable metrics to measure results, no question about it if you need to measure…if you are effectively and authentically being in relationship with people the results will be there, if they’re not, check in on how you are being in the realtionships in your life.
Nicholas Cage said it best in my opinion in the movie “The family man”, I highly recommend it:
“Business is business. Wall Street, Main Street. It’s all a bunch of people
getting up in the morning,trying to figure out how they’re going to send their kids to college. It’s just people.”
And people are in relationship all the time whether they want to admit it or not and the types of relationships matter. Great sales people naturally build strong, authentic relationships.
To me the strength of my relationships depend in large part on the value that I bring to my customers and prospects.
If I have a good relationship with them, it means that they turn to me with questions about what is going on in the industry, and it means that I know them well enough to reach out to them with information that I know that they are looking for.
I would argue that if you aren’t offering tangible value to your clients and prospects you may be their friend, but you may not be earning their business.
I would agree, however, at least in business, the relationships are usually dependent on the tangible value aspect, otherwise the time spent to develop the relationship to a trusted level is not usualy taken by both parties. Don’t people who are clients need to see some value or benefit to mantaining a relationship that involves regular communication?
I do believe that building strong relationships is critical and will help your sales efforts, especially in a B2B environment. I think once the relationship is established, it is easy to forget the selling skills that were necessary to build that relationship in the first place – hard work, responsiveness, knowledge of your product and how it might help solve your customers problems, listening to your customer…..etc…etc. The relationship can be taken for granted, and as salepeople we forget we have to keep holding up our end of the bargain.
A relation is all about getting the right information in time which allows you to influence the outcome.
No B2B sales person will survive without relations, this does not mean relation will be the only parameter for succes.
Of course it will help when you have a good relationship with as many people in the DMU as possible.
“Building relationships” in business context that would be able to connect people who match your wave length in terms of business acumen & be able to produce desired results.
Relationships in business are like virtual directories, when required you have an access to it provided you maintain them as well.
In our personal lives, building relationships is knowing that even in their absence there always there for you. Its mutual trust & accepting them as they are
O yes! i feel all 10 will have different answers. According to me, Building relationships is all about making oneself approachable and available for those whom you want to maintain relationships with!
I work at Officeexec – and “Building Relationships” is our slogan. What does that mean? It means we don’t just shout our message to anyone who walks in. We take the time, customize the deal and give you something you wanted rather than something we had. Building relationship is really understanding that business is just an exchange of mutual benefits. The relationship is the process of understanding what that benefit really is. We provide office related services – and most customers are happy with our basics. But some have extra needs – if we did’t take the time to build a relationship we wouldn’t have known. We benefit from the knowledge because we provide an additional service and our client is happy. We continue that even after they signed by investing into technology and services that clients have mentioned. Building relationships is a marriage as opposed to a one night stand. This “marriage” allows us to sell new products once we develop them, because our customers are still with us.
Here’s a rather ‘hot’ metaphor for business relationships, taken as an extract from my latest book ‘Sex, Leadership and Rock’n'Roll – Leadership Lessons from the Academy of Rock’ – acclaimed by Tom Peters:
Let’s talk about sex?
Rock’n’Roll is about scoring. If we’re brutally honest the same is true at work. I don’t mean laying office boys and girls. I do mean enchanting people in an honest exchange for a job, your products or services. We’ve left the age where all this was done naturally. Staff have attitude these days and ask ‘what can you do for me?’ on day one. It’s a damned good question. Even better, if you can answer it properly and change the answer over time in tune with changing wants, needs and fantasies, they will commit to you and perform in ways that other businesses only dream of. What does this mean? How will rock give us better answers than the business gurus playing with themselves? My contention is that the sex analogy accurately describes what should be happening at work. In essence the same basic instincts apply:
Foreplay – Getting your Customers, Clients and Colleagues engaged and excited with what you have to offer. Aligning expectations. Light my fire?
Intercourse – Working together, really communicating persuasively. Getting down and dirty. Delivering promises. Fire!
Climax – Achieving peak performance over and over. Again. And again. Relight my fire?
Afterglow – Clarifying gains, consolidating achievements, finding out how it was for them and adjusting accordingly. This virtuous circle moves the 3 Cs from one night stands to long term lovers. Fire brigade!
The metaphor is developed further in the book.
atb
Peter
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Leadership-RocknRoll-Lessons-Academy/dp/1845900162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216134545&sr=8-1
The “what does it mean” question and the different type answers received can account for any and probably all questions concerning sales and sales processes.With ten people you will receive ten different answers to any sales question.No one can agree on what is the best or better way to sell.
My answer to the relationship building is some obviously do not believe in that and you want me to convince you that they are essential.
However I cannot allow the notion of complexity deciding that one sales process is more difficult than another.
I can argue that it is more difficult selling a 1000 dollar faucet to an individual for their home than selling a 100 grand system to people who are using other peoples money to pay for it.(corporation) Proof exchange the individual for you.Would you normally spend 1000 dollars for a kitchen facuet?
I better build the relationship to enjoy the ownership exchange for a 1000 dollar faucet. Fact is you can get a cheap plastic faucet to deliver water to the kitchen sink.
I work for Trustive, an international WiFi access provider and we rarely get to meet/speak our customers in person. We rely on our website to inform customers about our product and to generate sales. In fact we only really hear from our customers when it comes time to close their account or when they’ve experienced a problem. Whilst responding promptly, courteously and professionally is of course important in order to gain customer confidence and ensure that customers do stick with us despite a problem or come back to us the next time they need international WiFi access, under these circumstances it is very hard to build a proper relationship with them.
With the increase in online only, ‘faceless’ businesses, I’m sure we’re not the only company in this predicament and nor am I the only marketing/sales person in the difficult situation of having a customer base that I rarely, if ever, get to actually interact with on an individual level. Customers are wary; they’ve all heard about the traditional sales techniques and can spot ‘befriending’ a mile off. So how to personalise this kind of relationship, whilst keeping the exchanges sincere, informative and pertinent but in an innovative, non-intrusive manner?
Social media (facebook et al) is of course being hailed as the miracle cure for this kind of situation but it is a bit ‘old hat’ already and doesn’t always meet the ‘non-intrusive’ criteria that customers, in my experience, are very particular about.
It’s a challenging position to be in, especially because each and every customer is different. Some love to Tweet and avidly follow hundreds of people/companies every day, whereas others despise the very idea of Twitter. Perhaps the answer is to embrace a variety of means in order to have a solution for everyone… but does that not come across as a bit insincere? I’m not sure that there is a right answer or magic formula, the important thing is probably just to be seen to be trying to be there for your customers – whatever they need (help or advice, additional information, after-sales care), whenever they need it (we live in a 24/7 society and customers now expect a quick, if not instaneous, reply) and wherever they may be (Facebook, Twitter, blogs and forums, news websites, paper press or simply on the end of the phone).