It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Just Business
Doyle Slayton | Jul 15, 2009 | Comments 30
If you walk into a room of hard core sales hunters and say, “It’s all about relationships,” your audience would likely cringe. Not necessarily because they don’t like the idea, but because they can’t relate to the concept. It simply isn’t true in their world. It’s one of those things that sounds good, but it isn’t reality.
On the other hand, if you were to make the same statement in a room filled with account managers and business owners, you’d likely get a lot of head nodding and agreement. They would easily relate and understand the concept.
I believe that “generally speaking” the relationship begins after the sale, not before. Hold on a minute… before you jump out of your chair… let me explain.
I’ll start with a couple of stories…
I used to sit next to a sales person who would be on the phone making cold calls. They’d say, “I’d like to come by and visit with you, drop off my business card, and introduce myself.” Most often the prospect would say, “We are not interested in what you have to offer,” and the sales person would reply, “I’m not looking for a quick sale, I’m looking to build a relationship.”
On the other end of the spectrum, I was talking to one of our top performers. This rep is as high a producer as I’ve ever seen. I asked, “What do you think about the concept of… it’s all about relationships?” The sales person broke out into laughter and said, “Relationships? I don’t even know them! I don’t want a relationship. I have friends for that kind of thing.”
Sure, the sales rep in the second story needs a little molding, but if I had to choose the best sales person to develop, I would choose the second one every time. As long as they are a person of high integrity, a team player, and they agree to follow the rules, they will be a superstar!
Let’s circle back around and revisit the statement I made earlier. “The relationship begins after the sale, not before.” I’ve seen sales reps try to hold accounts hostage claiming they have a relationship… yet the sales person never seems to get the prospect to come on board as a client.
If there are no results, there is no relationship. Period! I’ve seen too many people waste their time on relationship building activities like networking events and who knows what else. I’ve never seen that produce sustainable results… not ever!
Do you really think the majority of your prospects are interested in building a relationship? We might be pretty cool people, but I don’t think any of us are that cool.
During the sales process it comes down to other important key factors. Instead of saying, “It’s all about relationships,” replace the word relationships with words like Trust, Follow-Through, Creating Value, and Reputation. Those are the things that matter most when trying to close deals.
Ok, point made. Let’s transition to look at our current client base. Now we are talking about relationships! We want a strong relationship with our clients and they also want one with us. It begins with our product and our service living up to expectations. We need strong customer service reps, account managers, and an operations team that will keep these clients happy. But, don’t get too comfortable. One thing is certain. Drop the ball one too many times, and the “relationship” is over.
Finally, I also think it is important to have business partnerships with other service providers where a relationship makes sense. I’m talking about other sales people that I can bring into my deals to offer ancillary products when needed. If this partnership helps win more deals… I’m willing to claim that as a powerful relationship!
I know it is difficult to hear. When it comes to the front line and you are hunting for new sales opportunities, the cold hard truth in the old saying still applies, “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.”
Check Out These Related Articles!
Filed Under: Blog • Featured • Leadership • Sales
I couldn’t agree more. Relationships, recommendations, and references never hurt. However, no company makes a purchasing decision based on relationship alone. You have to prove that you can deliver the solution, service or product that will positively impact their business. You have to prove that you will remain accountable and reliable. You have to show that there is tangible value in what you have to offer and that it’s the best choice they could possibly make based on their buying criteria. If you secure the sale and meet the client’s expectations, then you begin to establish trust. Only then can you call it a business relationship.
I completely agree with Jeff C.
Good post. Thank you.
In many different surveys to determine the psychology of the buyer it has been determined that they like those sales people that can do one thing, and that one thing only -aid their survival.
This is why pain-based selling works because it is selling according to the prospect’s perceived needs (see: wants, as perceived needs are “wants”). That IS what they value.
It is discovering through a system those things that the prospect perceives as real and then coming up with solutions (value) to address those point specific concerns, only. Your typical client NEEDS what you sell, and your Perfect Client WANTS what you sell.
Relationships are built because of our competence as you have pointed out, but sales are made because we have aided the prospects survival and are selling them what they “want”, not what we think they need. Sell them what they want and deliver what they want and need.
Let say that your post is TRUE but NOT
Not in LATAM, in our countries relationships are important enough to decide a PO.
Of course quality, performance, delivery and reputation of goods or services are the start point t, to evaluate if the customer will buy from you and your company.
But what really give you the PO is the relationship.
I stopped to explain to USA salesmen not to wait that in the first meeting will get the PO -they always hope that- So I left them that hit the head against the wall.
Our experinces in a certain lattitude are not true around the world
roberto sanchez,RCDD
Doyle, I have had conversations about this topic numerous times, including over lunch today. Your comments are spot-on, particularly in the world of complex, big-ticket technology sales. Prospects don’t want “relationships” — they want to solve business problems, improve performance, and save money. If we can give them that, we’ll earn relationships with them.
I partly agree with the fact that relationships start after the first transaction and not before.
However, somehow on reading this article, I get the feeling that the author seems to rank “Relationship building” as not very effective.
Let me share a thought here. I believe one of the most important reasons that the human race became successful is that they learnt farming. Farming of grains, chickens, cattle, everything. Which meant an on-going relationship was formed between man and his farm produce. This was distinct from Hunting. Hunting alone would have placed us on par with other animals with only the slowly evolving advantage of learning to use tools as the distinguishing element.
And remember, relationship between man and land begins first, the grain comes up much later. So only when humans learnt to invest in the relationship between them and the land that they tilled, did they prosper. You cannot grow grain the day you start farming.
Your hard hunting salesperson may be a crack guy, and able to deliver quick results, but the organisation benefits only so long as he is there. Accounts opened by this guy would leave the organization along with him, or even when he is still around. I for one would not prefer such guys. If at all, such guys in my team would be only to create the first opportunity. The account thereafter would very quickly move to my account managers for “cultivating”.
Business is also an opportunity.It has to be right decision at right time to close the deal.Most of the people say that relationship is after but what I say is it depends upon situation and circumstances that relationship pays.It is true that business is more depending on how much value customer derives out of it.You need to focus on it and try to give all valid reason to change the mindset.
I have doubts about that !
In today’s complex business world where you have many service providers bringing same high quality solutions what will be the difference ?
What i think is that will be the ability of building long term relationship with clients.We should never forget that clients are all people and people like to do business with people like themselves.
Another great post, Doyle! You seem to have a way of getting us to think about ideas we may not be comfortable with. I love it!
You see, my gut reaction was to “jump out of my chair” and defend my position that relationship building is the foundation of a good sales process. Then I stopped to think for a moment, and what I realized as I read the comments is that we’re both right.
I know for certain that there are industries where relationship means very little in the buying process: a good example would be government bids. I don’t care how good of friends you are with a government purchasing agent, that’s not going to get you the sale. Steve’s comment above listed another: big-ticket technology sales. Solve my problem at the right price, and I’ll buy from you whether I like you or not.
At the same time, I also know the truth of Guvenc’s comment; I’ve certainly won sales based on my relationship, all other things being equal in the competitive situation. In the petroleum industry, I’ve had situations where I cultivated a relationship for a year or more before the prospect was willing to make a change from a long-time supplier (you nailed it when you said it doesn’t take much to lose a relationship, no matter how long it’s been established, and it’s nice to be in the #2 position when it happens to your competitor).
I guess what it really boils down to is that, just like everything else, you’re selling human beings, and we’re a pretty diverse group. In some situations, all that matters is price (another piece of sales heresy, I know, but true nevertheless). In others, it’s all about the product. And in still others, it is ‘all about the relationship’.
Thanks for challenging us again!
Jerry Kennedy
The Motivation 101 Blog
It all depend what you mean by relationship.
If you assume that relationship is like a friend who you’ll have on you backyard for b-b-q, than you are right, this might come latter (or might never come)
BUT, if it is being active in finding what moves the buyer, meaning gathering informations about him/her and the company he represents in order to be prepared for objection handling, answering the questions etc..
THAN you have already started to build the relationship!!
good post
Yes – very good post!!
I absolutely have to agree with Jerry in that it is a good perspective once in a while to challenge views. That’s what makes this a great post.
The key thing it is important to remember is that it will depend on what you are selling. I 100% cannot sell my (consultancy) product if the person doesn’t “buy” me, so there’s gotta be a relationship there, but I can see that that’s far from the only type of product out there!
I also think there’s a lot of truth in Jerry’s “we’re a pretty diverse group” comment. It’s the old customer service juggle of Transaction Vs Relationship, which varies from one individual to another.
However I would like to add this, which I believe comes from the real world that Doyle also clearly lives in, an important business characteristic in my view!:
We’re talking prospecting.
Quote ” Most often the prospect would say, “We are not interested…” ”
So everyone agrees that we’re talking low conversion rates. Let’s pin it high for our peak performers on a decent list – 10% okay with you?
I’m gonna take the opposing view for a sec to highlight my point – i.e. it is MOSTLY about building relationships…
So 10 times out of 100 we won the deal, say 7 of those were relationship based, the rest being price or location or whatever else…that means that Doyle & Sales Rep 2 were right it isn’t about relationships 93% of the time! GREAT!
…BUT 70% of the sales were relationship based, which is the real number. Don’t focus on building the relationship and you could easily drop your sales by 30%…or as it’s so often called – by the profit margin!
You don’t make sales 100% of the time, and you’re not going to start a relationship 100% of the time either but…
“Relationship = Sales”
A buyer/seller relationship is a rapport which we create by Questioning, Listening, Understanding & Responding.
“Relationship does not = BBQs & friendship”
I put it to you that the heads of the company would say their hard hitter IS striking up a relationship with their buyers. If that same sales guy is hard nosed and doesn’t think about it in that way – fine! However I think a longer terms strategy is to realize where that spark of rapport has been created and build on it.
Additionally it’s unsurprising that the room of “Hardcore Sales Hunters” all cringe, because they will likely work in the sales function of the company. They are being purely focused on their role within the organisation, but that is not to say that a broader view, taken by those few consummate sales professionals (& the business owners) that can see the bigger picture, isn’t the best view for EVERY function within the company, even/especially the MoneyMakers….and do 20% of the salesforce make 80% of the sales in that business?
I hope some other food for thought!
This is a great post – it certainly stirred up some feeling!
Doyle,
I’m going to emphasize one part of what you wrote “Trust, Follow-Through, Creating Value, and Reputation”, I’ll add they buy what you sell AND need what you do. That is my definition of a BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP.
So you are correct, the business relationship doesn’t begin until you do business together. Before the first sale sales you are (in the words of my friend Alan) “just courting them”.
People do buy from people, so I like the analogy of courting – where in the beginning you’re both trying to figure out if your a good fit to do business together.
As salespeople our role is to ensure the prospect is comfortable with how we conduct business and believes what we do will help them. That is when they buy from us and the business relationship begins.
Lynn
There is an “art” to selling. Top performers bring their core values to the table day in and day out. They are themselves and part of who they are is a sales artist. That’s what distinguishes them from the “typical” sales person that business owners are so quick to dismiss. Business owners and key decision makers appreciate they are dealing with an artist: someone skilled in the art of business. They are buying your business acumen, your honesty and directness, your credibility and your trustworthiness. That is the art of creating a business relationship.
I have to agree, the relationship may come after the sale if a relationship ever materializes at all. Keeping business business works well for me most of the time. Experience has taught me that mingling the two often ends up with a sour taste in my mouth. I also agree that rarely does a business relationship ensue out of personal relationships if the business transaction doesn’t make sense for the business. In my role, I have to follow sales reps that leave our company and sometimes the sale had been a very small one to reach a new bonus level. The purchase had been made by a friend of the sales rep and in following them, the customer almost always cancels the account once their “friend” leaves our company. I’ve also had so-called “friends” buy from me only to not pay their bill or be the biggest pain in the patutty I’ve ever had to deal with and therefore it leaves me wishing I’d never sold anything to them.
Interesting you should mention networking and the gain, or shall we say lack of gain from these groups. I’ve been doing my own mini experiment with this over the past year. I’ve participated in several groups and have learned some lessons, some of which have been painful lessons. When I do make a sale out of the network group, it is often labor intensive in that I have had to spend two to three times longer getting the close and then the percentage of these that do not renew or don’t pay has been very high. Countless hours and money for lunches and breakfasts has not been worth the investment so I have slowly backed out of them. The best group for me has been the Chamber of Commerce in one of our local areas. People value their reputation within the Chamber and they respect me as a member and that has worked well.
Anyhow, that’s my two cents for this morning!
Lisa
You make a very clear distinction and effective argument. There are other factors to consider.
The argument is strongest in the North American market. However it is weaker in many markets around the world, including countries in Asia and South America.
Additionally factors always at play include territory, product, and compensation plan.
If a sales person only has 10 named prospect accounts in a territory, absent current interest in your product, you are left with building a relationship anticipating a future need.
If your product is a very high end product with low volume but high dollar sales, your sales behavior will be more about developing needs, not discovering them.
And finally, as we know most sales people behavior is influenced by their compensation plan and measurement systems. A compensation plan focused on new account volume will inspire behavior different than one focused on large account development. As yo have noted, your “relationship” premise plays differently for HUNTERS and FARMERS.
This is a refreshing dialogue.
Brian
This discussion is interesting, but what is missing here in basic form is a definition of a relationship, regardless if we frame it by the word business or personal. The fact of the matter is, most of us would not buy anything from anyone of any sort if we did not have some connection, call it what you wish.
Statistically speaking, the more comprehensive the sales campaign, the more comprehensive the relationship must be. I do not agree that the relationship starts at the end of the cycle, but do support that the relationship takes on another phase that has specific requirements to sustain the foundation of what was built in the first place – we call it credibility.
How many of us buy from someone we just didn’t connect with, or more simply, just didn’t like very much?
Well define it as you wish, but in the end, there is something there that triggers our emotion to move forward. And with due respect Doyle, for your one rep that is successful that says “Relationships? I don’t even know them! I don’t want a relationship. I have friends for that kind of thing.” Not only do I have another few hundred that would flat out disagree, but I would check this guy’s wake to see what collateral damage he is causing to the image of your firm.
The key to me is definition and then measuring how well you meet the definition of the relationship required to be successful – at the beginning.
We never buy anything from anyone we don’t like, and no decision maker is going to put his or her job on the line buy executing a decision with someone where there exists no relationship or better still, a relationship that has not been DEFINED by the parameters and requirements of the service being provided or pursued. I call that success.
Great post Doyle! I use to believe that it’s all about the relationship but it really is about the trust, customer service and how your product performs. Sure it’s a much better experience for someone to deal with a likeable person and carry on a good conversation but that alone won’t close a deal. I like Lynn’s analogy of “courting them”. Some of my prospects will need some courting and others will buy on the first sales call due to the need of the product. That’s why I love sales! We can adapt to so many different situations and people.
In being honest, I’m never “looking” for a relationship first. I’m looking to close a sale. Now, I’ve worked with potential prospects for a year (my sales cycle is monthly) trying to close the sale – not build a relationship, and in the process have become “friendly” with the prospect. I’ve learned more about their business, the names of their families, their interests outside of work etc. yet never once have seen anyone of them socially – it’s always business.
This one particular prospect I closed after 16-18 months of face-to-face visits, presentations, follow-up emails, random calls handling objections and in my opinion proving my companies abilities to satisfy their “pain”. One could argue I built a relationship first and this is why they sold us. I disagree with the argument as a whole. Yes, sales are an emotional decision and them liking me is absolutely a contributing factor but my services were the solutions to their needs (specifically price or the almighty dollar). The killer is I did business with them for 6 years! – talk about building a relationship, then they sold me out to a competitor who they admitted “don’t like as much..” “but is paying more..”.
For whatever the reason our relationship was a non-factor… it was just business, nothing personal.
Generally speaking I agree with Doyle. Just a couple of other ideas to ponder.
1 – I think some see a relationship that transforms as the deal moves to the close. An example is BPO sales, where after the typical 5-8 month process you have some sort of relationship built, and trust has developed, especially on that visit to Bangalore.
2 – Where does old-fashioned “courting” fit in – - you know, Dad is nearby with the 12-gague.
3 – Some, thinking Mahan Khasla here, call the prospect a client in the ORDER process, yet there is not a lot about building a relationship.
4 – When I started in sales, I was told I needed to golf to be successful. Never did, did fine, and my clients never had time to golf anyhow.
5 – What are you selling to whom counts. I did have fruitful relationships with a number of CxO’s who would often refer me to others.
6 – I buzzed down some answers and Roberto’s struck me as there are cultural differences outside of the USA, that are creeping in now with multi-national firms, where relationships do count.
As others have said, this all hangs on your definition of “relationship”.
Those who say relationship doesn’t matter seem to be defining relationship more like I would define friendship.
But a relationship is simply any sort of human, emotional connection.
When most people say they’re trying to build a relationship with prospective clients they don’t mean they’re trying to become buddies. They mean they are trying to establish a connection with certain qualities like trust and credibility. Of course, this can overlap with friendship, but friendship is rarely the aim (at least initially).
If you go through your original article and replace the word relationship with friendship, then the article still makes sense and most would agree with it.
But go through and replace the word relationship with trust and you get statements like: “I don’t want trust, I have friends for that sort of thing”. And “Do you really think the majority of your prospects are interested in building trust?”. Those are the sort of statements most of us would disagree with.
Certainly in my experience, factors like trust and credibility are absolutely vital to sell large, complex or intangible products & services. The comment about big-ticket technology items being more about the business deal is partly true – but only because both parties implicitly trust each other to make good on that deal. If the buyer doesn’t trust that you’ll deliver, or that you’ve overstated the benefits, or that they won’t be able to partner effectively with you – then the deal won’t happen. Sure, you’re not buddies – but there is an important relationship there, and you must establish it before the sale or you won’t win.
Ian
Fascinating conversation. My belief, three things are necessary for building a relationship or selling.
1. Help the person feel significant or important.
2. Ask questions.
3. Listen to the answers.
4. Provide the why.
If you do this, you can sell and build relationships at the same time.
Great post!
Reputation is important in our business. The initial process is less about relationship and more about trust building. Once a prospect feels comfortable with us and trusts that we can providing the best value and after-the-sale support, the sale is made. As soon as the sale is made the relationship begins.
It’s like the dating world, you wouldn’t say you were in a relationship until you “closed the deal” …right?
Jay Huffschmidt
The Auto Gallery
Ferrari, Maserati, Porsche and Audi
http://www.laautogallery.com
@TheAutoGallery
Jay – you bring up a great analogy.
David Maister likens business development to dating – and says there are two basic strategies – and you have to choose which one you’re following.
One is to go for one-night-stands. It’s not about relationships, it’s about convincing the other person that you’re going to to give them “value” for your one night transaction. It’s based on immediate attraction and “ROI”.
The other is to go for romance. To set out to build a long term relationship with someone you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. It’s about honest & openness, finding out about each other beforehand to ensure compatibility before you consumate the relationship.
Sure, some one night stands turn into longer relationships. But usually not. usually long term relationships have to be nurted from the start.
Ian
Thanks for the kind words, Doyle! See you tomorrow!
Martin, Jeff and Ian have it right. Its how you choose to define “relationship”.
If a prospect is accepting your calls, giving you information about their business, enrolling other decision makers into the process, giving you his or her time for presentations, etc then a relationship is in place. Relationships are bilateral engagements with communication and commitment. We can not have a sales process without some level of relationship. Albeit weak, or susceptible to quick implosion the sales process IS a relationship none the less.
Ian said it best, if friendship is the definition of relationship then its a solid premise. Otherwise I have to disagree. The relationship begins the minute the prospect says Yes, (Yes to a presentation, yes for an introduction to the SVP, or Yes to share their objectives) and it only improves and grows with each and every subsequent Yes.
Doyle, what a post you came up with here! The comments and discussion have been so interesting to follow.
When I first read your post, I realized it provided an opinion that is largely opposite of mine. In fact, I dedicated an entire post on my blog to your post and my “rebuttal”: http://blog.sellingtoconsumers.com/2009/07/selling-to-consumers-its-all-about-relationships.html
While there’s a great deal you and I agree about, and while I agree with the several commenters that correctly point out that the definition of “relationship” is all-important in the discussion, I believe the relationship, however short or tiny in the grand scheme of selling, is what drives much business, at least for the B2C companies that hire me to help them maximnize their sales.
Thanks for your post Doyle.
Skip
It all depends on the nature of the buyer and their expectations. In some cases relationships really do matter and make or break the sale, especially in B2B sales.
We have discovered a process that enables a deep relationship of Mutual Trust and Respect within the first thirty minutes of meeting someone. It is about 90 percent effective.
However it should not be applied unless you have an appointment with a prospect who wants to buy your type of products or services.
Hey Doyle – I have a relationship! With Burger House!