However it should not be applied unless you have an appointment with a prospect who wants to buy your type of products or services.

When I first read your post, I realized it provided an opinion that is largely opposite of mine. In fact, I dedicated an entire post on my blog to your post and my “rebuttal”: http://blog.sellingtoconsumers.com/2009/07/selling-to-consumers-its-all-about-relationships.html

While there’s a great deal you and I agree about, and while I agree with the several commenters that correctly point out that the definition of “relationship” is all-important in the discussion, I believe the relationship, however short or tiny in the grand scheme of selling, is what drives much business, at least for the B2C companies that hire me to help them maximnize their sales.

Thanks for your post Doyle.

Skip

If a prospect is accepting your calls, giving you information about their business, enrolling other decision makers into the process, giving you his or her time for presentations, etc then a relationship is in place. Relationships are bilateral engagements with communication and commitment. We can not have a sales process without some level of relationship. Albeit weak, or susceptible to quick implosion the sales process IS a relationship none the less.

Ian said it best, if friendship is the definition of relationship then its a solid premise. Otherwise I have to disagree. The relationship begins the minute the prospect says Yes, (Yes to a presentation, yes for an introduction to the SVP, or Yes to share their objectives) and it only improves and grows with each and every subsequent Yes.

David Maister likens business development to dating – and says there are two basic strategies – and you have to choose which one you’re following.

One is to go for one-night-stands. It’s not about relationships, it’s about convincing the other person that you’re going to to give them “value” for your one night transaction. It’s based on immediate attraction and “ROI”.

The other is to go for romance. To set out to build a long term relationship with someone you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. It’s about honest & openness, finding out about each other beforehand to ensure compatibility before you consumate the relationship.

Sure, some one night stands turn into longer relationships. But usually not. usually long term relationships have to be nurted from the start.

Ian

Reputation is important in our business. The initial process is less about relationship and more about trust building. Once a prospect feels comfortable with us and trusts that we can providing the best value and after-the-sale support, the sale is made. As soon as the sale is made the relationship begins.

It’s like the dating world, you wouldn’t say you were in a relationship until you “closed the deal” …right?

Jay Huffschmidt
The Auto Gallery
Ferrari, Maserati, Porsche and Audi
http://www.laautogallery.com
@TheAutoGallery

1. Help the person feel significant or important.
2. Ask questions.
3. Listen to the answers.
4. Provide the why.

If you do this, you can sell and build relationships at the same time.

Those who say relationship doesn’t matter seem to be defining relationship more like I would define friendship.

But a relationship is simply any sort of human, emotional connection.

When most people say they’re trying to build a relationship with prospective clients they don’t mean they’re trying to become buddies. They mean they are trying to establish a connection with certain qualities like trust and credibility. Of course, this can overlap with friendship, but friendship is rarely the aim (at least initially).

If you go through your original article and replace the word relationship with friendship, then the article still makes sense and most would agree with it.

But go through and replace the word relationship with trust and you get statements like: “I don’t want trust, I have friends for that sort of thing”. And “Do you really think the majority of your prospects are interested in building trust?”. Those are the sort of statements most of us would disagree with.

Certainly in my experience, factors like trust and credibility are absolutely vital to sell large, complex or intangible products & services. The comment about big-ticket technology items being more about the business deal is partly true – but only because both parties implicitly trust each other to make good on that deal. If the buyer doesn’t trust that you’ll deliver, or that you’ve overstated the benefits, or that they won’t be able to partner effectively with you – then the deal won’t happen. Sure, you’re not buddies – but there is an important relationship there, and you must establish it before the sale or you won’t win.

Ian