Overcoming a Negative Attitude
Doyle Slayton | Jul 22, 2009 | Comments 32
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the economy… summer time… and various other challenges have been affecting sales people and their attitude lately. It seems like decision makers are either already on vacation, or they are overwhelmed with completing projects just before going on vacation. Then there are those who are just plain dragging their feet or waiting until year end to make a decision. It can be pretty frustrating to think you have a lot in the pipeline and then have very few deals closing… and in my experience, the minute results begin to suffer, attitudes follow suit.
I once worked with a colleague who had a very strong personality. She would bring sales people in, and if they were struggling with their attitude, she would go right at them saying things like, “You better flip it up!” It’s interesting because I never found her leadership style to be very effective. I’d observe her people’s reactions and noticed that her technique was not going to improve attitudes.
“Sales is a profession that can build you up, tear you down, & build you up again… all in a matter of seconds. Stay tough!”
–Doyle Slayton
Although I am a usually a very positive and optimistic person, there are times when I have to overcome negative thoughts and emotions. There is an “old school” tactic that I use to overcome it and get back on track. Can you guess what it is? I’ll share it with you on the next post, but first…
How do you dig yourself out of a negative attitude? What do you do to bounce back?
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Filed Under: Blog • Featured • Leadership • Reader Questions • Sales • SalesTaxi
Dear Doyle:
Hello, here are three ways that I overcome a negative attitude: 1) I do not let the negative attitdue affect my bank account; I focus on the results and always improving to get better at what I do, 2)I am always looking forward to future and working effective daily to accomplish my future, and 3)I have an accountability and support system that does not let me stay negative and keep me focus on moving forward. I hope this helps.
Respectfully,
Arnel Tanyag
Hi Doyle,
Great topic. I like you how you leave us hanging and wanting more from you on this post. One of my mentors in sales who was a career sales exec at IBM once said, the best thing to do when you are feeling down is to call your existing customers. Nothing better than talking to a happy customer who you have a great relationship with to re-establish confidence in a challenging environment.
Looking forward to your answer and if I guessed right.
Brian
I adore private time in the vehicle this is the time I vent and allow my frustration ,negative attitude fly out the window.
I then am able to focus on what I am required to accomplish. I wish I had a cone of silence that would allow me to vent in private I go to the next better thing the car!
All of you are correct………
Great thoughts.
Myself I do two things, 1. Call a customer that I have a great relationship. 2. Think about a promotion with the products I am selling to get mind going and also try to think about an “out of the box” idea that seems stupid at the time for a cross promotion.
Doyle, I like your articles. Thank you for sending these our way!
Ways I overcome a negative attitude: First of all – I feel I should be immune from this after 20+ years of sales, but alas, I still fall. Here are just a few of the many techniques I employ:
1. Keep momentum on my side. Whether I feel like it or not, keep the calls and visits going. Momentum usually kicks in and I forget I am down or afraid.
2. Have a great calling list – of people I love and would be inspired to close deals with.
3. Pray. A lot.
4. Pay attention. If I am getting the same null and void responses, then I try a different approach.
5. Push on – 1 more call; 1 more email; 1 more idea. At least at the end of the day, I’ll feel good that I gave it my all. Many times the fruit just takes longer to appear.
6. If really in a rut – I take myself thru a Q&A like this: Q: What am I worried about? A: I’m going to starve and die. Q: Really, you really think that will happen? A: No – but nothing is working. Q: What have you forgotten to try, who have you forgotten to call? A: Many ideas and there are always people (new and old) I haven’t called yet. etc.
7. Highly Effective in the Arsenal: Remember other times I felt this destitute and then trace back all the victories that ensued.
8. The key is to not be stopped or paralyzed by the attitude. Can’t let the attitude keep me from items 1 – 5 on my list above.
Guess you struck a chord in me. I’m gonna read my list back to myself and have a better day tomorrow!
Robin Borough
California Girl
I maintain a positive attitude using various techniques:
1) Ignore the news and look at the ‘opposite’. If unemployment is at 10% that means that 90% of people are STILL working and have needs for goods & services. Quite possibly ours or our clients!
2) Keep talking – I am definitely an extrovert, so if I realize that I have not talked with enough people either via phone or in person, I pick up the phone or go to a networking event and get energized immediately.
3) Learn history – These are NOT the worst of times or the worst economy ever. It’s just the worst many of us have ever experienced. The smart people find opportunities, learn from the past and realize that the only way through tough times is to just keep moving, keep working harder and smarter than everyone else. It’s not easy…but it’s true.
Negative attitudes unfortunately materialize in a sales cycle especially if it’s a long one and as for the time of year holidays/summer (or silly season as I would call it); People we know it happens every year so why do we kick ourselves down! Yes it’s frustrating but it’s also part of planning, hence look at your Work In Progress and plan it accordingly. Minimizing “negative Attitude” cures the frustration. So people 2 choices I recommend take a holiday and recharge your batteries after all that’s what our prospects and clients are doing! And second do what I am… I have just arrived in Canada to attend a board meeting, hence all the BDM, RSM from all over the World are attending thus making the most of the “silly season” and hopefully everyone will remain positive with a strategy to kick butt in September!!!
Have a great summer all.
Great topic and equally great ideas posted.
Schueller said it best, “Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do”! How true.
1/It has been stated earlier and I concur that getting out of the office and meeting with friendly clients is great medicine.
2/I avoid negative vibes from those that believe that the sky is falling by avoiding those nay-sayers altogether.
3/Watch less news …watch more Simpsons with the kids.
4/Get out of bed earlier, get on the bike earlier, ride a little longer, get endorphins pumping.
5/Focus on everything that I have done well … and do more.
6/Ask more questions
We all have discouraging days. When I feel my attitude beginning to get affected by the negativity, I back up, take 15 – 30 minutes and do something I enjoy, then go back and fight the beast some more. I walk away, get a nice latte, walk outside and watch the birds and squirrels run carefree then start with a fresh attitude. I am much more productive when I am happy and screw up more when I am frustrated.
Excellent replies to a timely topic.
I personally focus on two activities:
1.) I make an effort every day to give thanks for something positive in my life; kids, wife loving friends and family, my health …..etc.
2.) I focus on the one thing that brings value and meaning to our lives: helping others. And I don’t mean deluding myself into thinking that my product, service or business is the help that people need. I mean genuinely helping at least one person everyday without expecting anything in return. Things like helping a fellow business person with a referral, volunteering with a charity, helping another with a task they are burdened with, or my personal favorite, sending an unexpected greeting card to someone for any reason.
How does this help? It makes you feel better and more importantly the more you give, the more you gain. Try it today.
For more ideas on the power of appreciation, visit http://www.entrepreneurhandbook.wordpress.com
No one wants to cop to admitting the use of a judicious application of any psycho-pharmaceutical prescribed by a physician?
Here is a counter-question. What fraction of your sales is accounted for by your positive attitude? I will consider an answer exceeding 90% to be hyperbole.
1.Think that we are a normal person, don’t blame anyone including ourselves.
2.Relax for a while.
3.Recharge ourselves, using so many techniques, i.e. as what explained above, choose most fit us.
4.Are we ready to fight and love again?
5.Then fight and love again: SELLING!
Doyle,
Thanks for this excellent topic. Whenever I am down, I first spend time with my wife and kids. There is nothing as uplifting to me as a child’s laughter.
Secondly, I go back to the time I had graduated and was looking for a job in LA in 1980. The economy in LA was bad at that time as well. The interest and unemployment rates were moving up very rapidly. I was told I should get married to an American citizen to get a green card. Since I did not have a green card, the recruiters refused to work with me. I was staying with a relative and quickly running out of money. I decided to take action. I made about 50 resumes, talked to local people (since I was new to LA) about where the electronic companies were located and would travel by bus to the general area and go door to door to try and get my foot in. Needless to say, I found a job in about 30 days. So I believe the best way to get out of a funk is to spend time with your family and take action. Nothing is impossible when you take charge.
Hi Doyle,
A great topic indeed…and lovely posts from all people- some thoughtful, some straight from the heart.
I almost agree with all suggestions but personally i think for me what really works is doing something which is as close to me as selling, for which i am as passionate as i am about selling.
So it could be driving my car, watching movies, mountain hiking, hitting the gym or maybe just go for a long drive with only Pink Floyd to give you company
It kinda recharges your battery, rejuvenates you and reignites the fighting spirit.
Hi Doyle,
What a massive subject.. and not just relevant to Sales.
There are numerous solutions above and all are correct because they work for the people who wrote them and that’s the point..
You have to find what breaks the cycle you are going through. Whether that’s getting out and doing something you love from sport to a good lunch, or meeting people that you know make you feel good, family, friends or an act at a local comedy club. Or a combination of all of the above, the point is to find what makes you feel good, harness that, but use it wisely or it becomes less important each time.
Sometimes I like to go out on a clear night look up at the stars just to put things in perspective.
Something I wrote for myself about twenty odd years ago which still helps me today..
“Think not of lost opportunities.. but future possibilities..”
Doyle,
Great discussion instigated once again by your leadership!
I’ll echo the feeling shared by several people that many of us believe we have completed control over our own attitudes and we’re right!).
The key for me is to notice early when it is slipping. When people ask me how I am, I’ve trained myself to say “FANTASTIC”. When I hear other words come out of my mouth instead…. even if it is “good”…. I take a self check moment to see what is going on in my own head.
I love Robin Borough’s list above – great ideas on what I could do after my self check moment.
I also make sure that I have more time in my day to do what I love, that way when bad things happen – and they will – it doesn’t have a catastrophic attitude affect.
Great tip that I learned from a woman in my Responding vs. Reacting class. She asks herself “Am I fleeing flood, famine, or political persecution?” If the answer is no, she has put the situation into perspective.
Lynn
You asked how do I overcome depression. I began a “Happy Book” in the 80’s when I was in mortgage lending & swamped with work. It’s a wonderful pick-me-up to reflect on funny or happy moments when one is down.
The other way I pull myself out in tough times is simply, ‘put a smile on my face and decide not to complain.’ This may seem simple, but I see people all the time that do not make the effort. It’s sad to see a depressed salesperson. Best of luck on all your endeavors, whatever they may be.
I know it’s been said many times before… BEHAVE your way into the attitude you desire. When I catch myself in the midst of a “pity party”, I act “as if” I am successful, happy and heading for my next close. Soon the feelings will follow.
Another quick fix: In the midst of cold calls (and some rejections) I’ll dial a friend or family member to have a positive conversation that will act like a “shot in the arm” to keep me going through the rest of my call list.
Hi Doyle:
You’re right about about the highs and lows sales can create; but, in reality it’s more about how I choose to respond. I work to remain focused on the positive knowing that this moment will pass, and the next one can be spectacular. Whatever, I will make the best I can of it. Just practice being as positive as you can be. It’s all about attitude.
Lots of GREAT ideas in this topic. What a great group of fellow professionals to get help and ideas from.
Sometimes it’s very hard to remain up beat. Rather than dwell on the economy it’s best to take a breather, walk in the park, listen to music and reflect on your past successes and why you were successfull. Personally I need to slow down, recharge and then go out energized.
This can be hours, days or weeks (vacation) but with over 30 years of selling experience I know these times will get better and now positioning is as important as the sale.
It also helps to have team members you can confide in. Others are having the same issues around how to stay motivated.
BUT don’t repeat negative stories to customers or confide in customers about your problems. Customers can’t be asked to care, they have their own problems. As sales people we are our customers sounding boards and their “spirit lifters”.
And finally I listen to Stan Rogers, the Canadian singer and his song Rise Again! It never fails to revive my spirits.
Wow! Great topic and clearly a great group of leaders here. All of these posts are excellent, and I’ve found myself using any one or combination of them when the picture I’m painting for myself changes hue.
One key that helps stop the ‘pity party’ cold is keeping my PERSONAL goals in front of me. If I’m focusing on achieving those, it becomes real clear – real fast – that my head needs adjusting.
So, first acknowledge the challenge exists and get the negative out (scream it out the window on the freeway is a good one…), then put on some music, refocus on HOW I CAN get the job done, and get back to exceeding expectations!
I agree that it is easy for your attitude to spiral down during a sales famine. However, I find that I have a quiet period where it seems all I do is send out quotes and educate on products with little immediate return – then projects all come together at once and the “feast” returns. I continue to remind myself that it will come back around.
One thing I do that benefits my relationships with clients and myself as well is I send out thank you’s for every project I do no matter the size. A small percentage of client’s will return the gesture and comment but it is a great feeling that I have done my job well and they are pleased.
hi Doyle
negative attitudes creep up when you have blinkers on.. or fixed mindsets. to overcome negativity, you need to have a wider outlook to what your activities / actions are to be. we can debate till the cows go home on how to handle negative attitudes and overcome it.. but i guess the most imp fact is if you yourself are a positive person by mind and attitude, everything around you will seem positive.. after all – every cloud has a silver lining:) cheerz!!
I am genuinely a positive, happy, satisfied person, full of hope for my future so I don’t stay down for too long. Despite that, I do get weary in my professional role and acknowledge that it’s ok. Typically I need a change of scenery or allow myself a break from my daily activities. For instance, it’s quiet around here in July, so to keep my motivation up and allow myself some time to recharge, I’ve spent a lot of time social networking and talking to other sales folks. It’s been refreshing and a nice change of pace. Allowing yourself some lows and not beating yourself up just because your a bit off helps me tremendously to get back on track. Once I sense my “siesta” needs to be over, I set a deadline for myself and get back to my regular duties.
Hi Doyle,
It’s good to read these posts, very
therapeutic.
I listen to lots of sales and motivational CD’s.
Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar (Zigs my great motivator), Jeffrey Gitomer, Tom Hopkins and others.
I always think of my last sale and how easily it happened.
Often times I will ask the owner to give me a “yes” or “no” with what I have to offer.
I don’t want a “maybe”. A “yes” is the best word to hear. “No” is second best. That way I can move on. “Maybe” just leaves you hanging. Sure, I will get lots of “nos” but as the old saying goes, each “no” brings you closer to a “yes”
Mentally I thank them for the “no” and keep on truckin’.
Doyle,
Great topic especially since I’ve been complaining about the heat!
To combat my own negativity, I start with my old positive affirmation, “I am confident, sincere and enthusiastic. I have control over my emotions and work habits. I know God loves me and wants me to succeed, etc., etc., etc.” Self talk is critical to turning a negative attitude into a positive attitude.
Next, I keep going until I get a yes and if it takes a while, I may settle for a maybe, but I refuse to end my day on a “no”!
Lastly, I keep Negative Nellies at bay. If invited to lunch, I am busy so as to not socialize with other people who are negative. I draw back into my own world and realign my attitude through positive music, thoughts, prayer, etc.
Thanks again for the suspenseful post!
Lisa
Hi Doyle,
I think I’m relatively lucky. It takes a lot to get me down – and usually means I’ve got more than one tough thing going on at the same time and in different areas of my life.
My remedy for getting over bad spells is sleep, because I always wake up in a good mood and happy to greet the world
If something really gets me down and I still have work to do the same day, I give my brain a break – air it out – do something different – change activities. It does not have to be long, and I can even stare out a window and put myself in a happy place for a few minutes. But the mental break does the trick.
Can’t wait to hear what yours is!
Wow, what a subject. I learned Heart Math and Ashaya Meditation over the last 10 years. When I find myself in the brain rat race cycle I use one or both of them to move myself forward. I stay around positive peope and I am in a newly formed Master Mind group, we are focusing on Think and Grow Rich. One of the people in our group is an Action Coach owner so the energy that is being created also helps to move forward in the right direction. Thanks for a great topic!
It’s easy to get dissapopinted or depressed in sales. The trick is to remember just how much opportunity is out there. For every 1 account I cannot get in to, there are 10 more I have not even tried yet. And you can’t prospect with a crappy attitude, so you have to suck it up FIRST, and then take a step forward.
A couple of people touched on this directly, but I feel strongly about it so I’ll risk saying it again: make a list of things for which you are thankful. Take 10 minutes and write as many things as you can, both professional and personal and then read the list several times. It takes practice to remain thankful, and thankfulness is a great antidote to anxiety.
See my YouTube video, “The Meaning of Positive Thinking”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptU9i4tAKE8&feature=channel_page
Negatives attitudes is a result of conditional and environmental moods which indirectly plays and influence on the final position of your state of mind. this factors varies and as minute as it can be drastically increases its effects unconditional or maybe automated even when you feel you have a control over it…yet you display such power of character…well for me, i take a sweep of heart within myself and questions my reasoning knowing the actual causes after which i look for other factors that brings that candle light within regardless of my location or placement…they are always around you to brighten up your mood. Note that mere wishing of positive ideas really don’t take negatives attitude out although from this part of the world, it is seen as spiritual if you ignore such positive thinking, hence i would say working in such moods will surely make a twinkle light shine.
shalom